Gifts that would stink without Fresh Balls™

Gifts that would stink without Fresh Balls™

Feb 11th 2015

Gifts that would stink without Fresh Balls™

As you may know by now, Fresh Balls™ exists to solve a problem other hygiene products simply ignored. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work well with others. As a matter of fact Fresh Balls™ is the gift that is all about strong connected partnerships.

With Christmas just around the corner, and the gift giving vibes everywhere you look, we thought you might appreciate a brief gift idea list of presents that would stink without Fresh Balls™.

#1 Briefs:

Giving a man a pair of briefs tells him a few things. Most notably that you don’t understand the awkwardness of compressing things that ought not be squeezed. Honestly, briefs give new meaning to connected partnerships. A strangulation effect takes place and things get heated. Briefs have made a comeback, but are we happy about about?

It is a useful gift, as a guy, we usually need new underwear because we won’t buy it ourselves. But, if you made the mistake of not getting boxers and want to avoid awkward moments for everyone while doing laundry; please provide a tube of Fresh Balls™ to alleviate the unusual stains commonly associated with “pouch” required underwear.

#2 Slim Fit Dress Pants:

Giving a pair of dress pants is an underrated of kindness. Work has increasingly become an office matter in America and presentation has never been more valued. The reason Fresh Balls™ works well as a secondary gift is due to the suggestive nature of dress pants. Those who wear them are often stuck sitting for long hours doing their best to look good.

So if everyday is a presentation of looking good. That means comfort is usually left wrapped under the blanket every morning. For some odd reason pants never fit properly. They are always too tight somewhere, and create a chestnuts roasting on an open fire effect. Fresh Balls™ helps office warriors stay cool and avoid stinking at their job.

#3 Analog Avatar Gloves Drunk Camo 2015:

This seems like a weird gift to give, but it actually is one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give. The connection from hands to crotch may be a bit hard to determine, but I’m sure you can figure it out.

If you can’t let me explain. When skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, etc you need good gloves. Hands being so far away from your heart makes them likely to become cold due to blood flow, not to mention we are always working with them and sometimes in order to have better grip we take them off. Taking gloves off in the middle of winter can be a very annoying task especially snowboarding gloves. The whole purpose is for them to remain so tight around your wrist that snow doesn’t fall in when you take a tumble. Now if you have an itch, two choices are available. Take the gloves off, or attempt to scratch/adjust through layers. I suggest give the gift that stops the itch.

#4 Apple iPad Air 2:

Giving an iPad is a huge gift. It says that you are either a great friend, he’s a great lover, or that you have money to spend. The thing is, this is a gift that comes with a social responsibility. He will use it, friends will use it, coworkers may use it, kids, etc. It is just a cool gift in general that everyone likes to use.

But, what makes it even better? A clean screen. Too many random smudges on a screen can cause a cool gift to become a cesspool of curiosity. Fresh Balls™ ensures that this curiosity is not directed at a sweaty stain from his crotch. No one wants to share that, including him. But it just kind of happens, please help it from just kind of happening.

#5 Call of Duty Advanced Warfare:

This is not a joke. COD players in general stink. Think about it. How often have you heard someone screaming profanity while playing? A lot? I bet a lot. The reason he is screaming is due to campers, spammers, noobs, and people that apparently have no life.

To defeat all of these players, one must focus intently upon the screen for hours at a time. No time for a growing distraction rising from the gnarled brush. Help him focus, help him stop stinking in virtual combat. Give him Fresh Balls™.

Fresh Balls™ exists to solve a problem. If that problem is dealing with campers in COD, we can help. If that problem is dealing with long office hours in slim pants, we can help. For a larger gift collection check out Pinterest and our recently launched page.

So this holiday season give a gift that keeps him fresh.